i am SO happy it’s the 15th (almost as happy as i was when i created these little bundles of joy. yes, i’m referring to the bacon green bean bundles as my bundles of joy.)
yea yea – it’s tax day and all that jazz (what’s the government going to take from me – my shoes?)
sidenote – did you hear about that lady that killed her husband with a stiletto? i meannnn, i can’t decide if i’m a tad bit impressed more than i am horrified.
anywho. i’m glad it’s the 15th because that means it’s not the 14th and therefore it’s not the day of the month when i’m most poor and get daily text messages from my bank informing me that the $11.67 in my checking account “is below your alert threshold.”
well thank you captain obvious. clearly, i need to get more money or a lower alert threshold.
so i may or may not have gone shopping today. stop judging me. i work on mag mile, i cannot be held responsible.
but can we just talk about the salespeople today? they can be worse (NOT all) than the really persistent guy on tinder. BLOCK.
they follow you around. “where do you work?” “what are you up to?” UH shopping in your store.
most of the time you can’t really believe what they tell you either. it’s like spanx. sure, they make you feel good and thinner, but at the end of the day – it’s just a facade. they show you what you want to see.
AND THEN. they practically walk into your dressing room and you go to first base with them. hi – if i wanted you to see me in my skiddies- i would’ve just strutted around the store.
hello? you’re naked. no problem. i’m just going to shove my arm in here, oh can’t find the hook – so let me take a peek…oh you’re still naked, lovely. i brought you some clothes that i hope you wear and i’ll be sure to tell you you look pretty in.
i get it. i’m a salesperson without being a salesperson. i’m always pitching someone, dealing with lots of egos and personalities. they’re just trying to do their job. and i’m sure some people love it. i have at times. but not today, when i just wanted 20 minutes not chained to my desk to stand in front of 360 degree mirrors and fluorescent lights by myself and try on some clothes. to treat myself.
and i’ll probably buy the dress anyway (i totally did)
BACON. BOURBON. BROWN SUGAR. and vegetables.
these are something i made up while on the treadmill. yeah, it’s weird – i know. but these are one of my all time favorite things i’ve ever made. they’re sweet and salty and just amazeballs. i had to take photos fast so i could eat them.
perfect easter appetizer too – i just heart them. please make them.
- approx 1 lb fresh green beans (about 6-7 green beans per bundle)
- 12 pieces bacon (i used center cut)
- 1/2 tbl brown sugar
- 2 tbl brandy
- 1 tbl kosher salt
- 2 tbl brown sugar
- 2 tsp pepper
- preheat oven to 400.
- in a skillet (or oven works too), cook the bacon halfway. center cut should be cooked about 5-6 minutes on each side.
- once browned but not fully cooked, move to paper plate and pat with paper towel to remove grease
- in a bowl add brown sugar, brandy and stir until mixed.
- remove ends from fresh green beans.
- add green beans to brand mixture and stir around until covered.
- Note: best to do this in groupings. add about 1/2 the green beans, cover and bundle then add remaining green means.
- wrap 2 pieces of bacon around aapprox 6 green beans. repeat until beans and bacon are gone. (you can do one piece of bacon but COME ON, it’s bacon)
- place in baking dish.
- sprinkle with kosher salt (liberally) and pepper and a little more brown sugar.
- cook at 400 for 15 minutes.