(i just watched a kid president clip where he said that and it was in my head. so i stole it. i robbed a child.)
except not. i got back from the dominican republic last week and was slapped in the face with 55 degree drizzle. if that wasn’t the final buzzkill to reality, i don’t know what was. chi city has redeemed herself since then, thank goodness – so i’ve postponed my move to cali for now.
ummm can we talk about this chicken. i dieeeee.
i have a problem with adding booze to everything i cook. probably because i’m usually drinking it while i cook and i’m lazy so it’s easier to just pour it in then to get the can opener and open the chicken stock, and hey I’m a busy person here people so you’re going to have merlot steak and beer chicken
beer can chicken is all the rage, but for us single city girls who live in a sandbox who not only don’t have outdoor space for a grill but also technically have their lingerie drawer in their dining room, a crockpot is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
my friend came over recently and found a hammer next to my bed. she goes “oh is that for protection? that’s really smart.” um, no. that’s just literally the little bin i brought my tools in when i moved to my apartment, which was actually supposed to be a trash can, so it actually just means i never fully unpacked and still kind of live like a freshmen in college. but hey – if you think i’m smart because this happy accident will allow me to hammer someone then go ahead. although who wants to break into my apartment? they’ll be sorely disappointed. ya wanna steal my 18 inch tv or my grill pan? because that’s what i’ve got. oh but if you want the grill pan, it’s under the couch. for real. it’s protection for when i’m watching tv. the hammer is a whole four steps away. safety first people.
the glamourous life of single girl city living (glamorous, glamoroussss)
the beer can chicken (on the grill) will be happening in my life. like this weekend. but until then, this is pretty freaking awesome. plus, it’s easy. and we love us some easy. unless you’re easy. then you need to stop that. R-E-S-P-E-C-T ladies.
use a nice beer for this. get out of this house with that coors light. if you want pissed down carbonated water, go back to the frat house circa 2007 (and you can take my hammer in a trash bin next to my bed with you).
go for a wheat, full-bodied beer. do you like how i am pretending i actually know what I’m talking about when it comes to beer? pshhhhh.
do it do it do it.
- 3.5 lb chicken
- 1 tbl brown sugar
- salt and pepper to taste (about 1 tsp each)
- 1 tsp smoked paprika
- 1 tsp garlic powder
- 1 tsp chili powder
- 1/8 tsp crushed red pepper
- 1/2 tsp onion powder
- 1 – 1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter (at room temp)
- 2 tablespoons olive oil
- 2 limes
- 1/2 beer – drink the rest, obviously
- clean out that chicken. get all the goodies out.
- then pat dry. you want it dry!!
- in a bowl, add the sugar, salt, pepper, smoked paprika, garlic and onion powder and chili powder. oh and the cayenne – bring the heat.
- now in a separate bowl, add the butter. then take some of the mix (about 1/4 – 1/3 of it) and mix it into the butter so it makes a little butter paste thing.
- now you gotta get yo hands dirty. rub that mix everywhere. under the skin. rub the breasts and the thighs. (insert dirty joke).
- then cut the lime into thin slices. insert those into the skin.
- then place chicken in crockpot and pour in beer.
- let it simmer on low for 4 hours or high for about 2.