i went on a first date. let’s just say, recently.
i say that like it’s my first first date and not my one hundred and seventeenth.
and no mom, i’m not going to marry him. and yes dad, i know, we’re running out of hope.
my friend wanted me to meet this guy, so i gave in but insisted that it wasn’t one-on-one and instead a double date. there’s strength in numbers after all.
and because dating, especially first dates – are.freaking.exhausting. am i right ladies?
not only is there the exhausting small talk/facebook stalking/googling that has to happen before you ever meet, then you have to do the necessary small talk about where he went to school and you have to pretend to understand his job where he betters the world using other people’s money and then it can all be ruined if he responds with even one emoticon. because, honey – i can’t work with that.
THEN you play the tennis game of where you should go for this drink. (never dinner, always a drink. and coffee? psh, if you think i’m going to be sober during this awkward encounter then we’re definitely not right for each other and i’ll just save you the $12 on my cocktail right now. plus, i mean – doesn’t everyone pregame first dates?). so you reco places that aren’t too-dive bar-y but aren’t too pretentious that will be quiet enough you can hear each other but not so empty that it’s just you, him and the bartender named steve in the joint.
day of: there’s that whole – do you show up right on time or 5 minutes late? should you just walk around the block a few times until you get text confirmation that he’s there. but then what if he picks a bad seat? what if he doesn’t like me? what if he’s a catfish? you’re just going to go home, but no you don’t want to be alone forever like your brother said you would be so just walk through the door. just walk right through there right now and it’ll all be over in an hour.
so you meet and he looks enough like the pictures that you ignore your friends call you insisted she make at this minute with a fake emergency in case he looks just like that guy you saw in that creepy lifetime movie.
then it’s fine. you’re surviving – he’s actually made you laugh a few times and wait, he likes to water ski too? well that’s good.
there are awkward moments for sure, but not like you’re eating a banana and make eye contact with a guy across the way and you’re like. i.want.to.die. awkward. just we don’t know if we can dance through life quite right yet awkward.
and then before you know it, it’s 7:15 and that “coworkers going away party” (ALWAYS make up somewhere you have to be within an hour and a half of meeting your date. lieeeeeee. just do it. trust me. even if you think you’re going to have the best time ever with him. and never fess up to the lie if it is a lie, which is usually is. he’ll be left wanting more, darling).
so then comes the REALLY fun parts. the dutch question and one armed burping hugs. you know those hugs, you sort of pat each other on the back. to each their own if you’ll date a man who goes dutch (lies. i’m totally judging you if you do, i spend more money getting ready for a date than they do paying for my 2 cocktails) but you HAVE to reach for your wallet and let them politely decline. do not be a biotch who just sits there. play.the.game.
then awkward one arm burping hug and off you go. (don’t kiss. just don’t. i’ll say that rant for another post).
so go home, and treat yoself.
oh and you gotta get the cute copper mugs. it’s a must. obviously.
- juice from 2 lime wedges
- 2 oz vodka
- approx 4 oz ginger beer (6 if you like it weak but really – come onnnn)
- sprig of fresh mint (optional)
- ice (obviously)
- ice it
- squeeze the lime juice
- add vodka (depending on the date, maybe 3…4…oz??)
- top with ginger beer
- sprinkle a little mint if you fancy it