what question really sets you off?
you’re at a cocktail party, or maybe it’s a work event, a client meeting. somewhere where the people don’t know you all that well but you’re forced to make conversation with them and someone asks you that question. and if there isn’t alcohol nearby, you’re in real britney spears 2000 when she shaved her head trouble.
it’s your client deb. “who do you remind me of?” hmmm…i don’t know, i remind myself of myself. but let’s spend the next 7 minutes of my life trying to figure out if there’s another average height brunette with hazel eyes, shall we? splendid. and it always ends up being slightly offensive. never has this conversation ended up with ” jessica alba. or gisele.” it’s always “ohhhh, it’s my cousin kathy….it must be the nose. she’s actually single too. huh that’s funny, so glad i figured it out.”
well deb, i’m just so glad we had this little chat. i feel so much better.
or it’s “where did you get that shirt?” back off, becky. why would i want to tell you? so you can run out and buy the exact same shirt and we can inevitably wear it on the same day to the office we spent 75 hours a week at and people can say “twinning” which nearly makes me violent until you post it on instagram, and i have to like it. but i won’t like it. so for now, i’m going to say “online. i dont remember…”
“how do you guys know each other?” well there’s about 19 people here….so it’ll take about 97 hours to go through how each and every person has met each other over the last seven years. my would be response? “grouper.”
you just went through a break-up. being out of the house and appearing put together is borderline painful it takes so much effort. “what happened?” well, dr. drew please let me pour my heart and soul to you about the demise of my relationship, who by the way i thought i would spend the rest of my life with, i have known you on a surface level for what, 3 months?
orrrrr it’s the other one. this one i’ve gotten too many times to count. and it’s so twisted, because people actually think they’re complimenting you when they say it. “how are you still single?” hmm, well, you know, i haven’t ever really thought about it. i haven’t ever felt insecure about it, or dreaded going out for the umpteenth time as the 5th wheel, or even had moments where i felt completely unlovable. what i want to answer? “you know, the better question – is how are you not?”
stick to “you’re so pretty and cool.” that’ll do. it never goes out of style and BONUS, it doesn’t make me want to gauge my eyeballs out.
- 1/2 tablespoon coarse Dijon mustard
- 1 tablespoons red wine vinegar
- 1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
- 1/4 teaspoon honey
- 1/4 cup olive oil
- 1/2 pound flank steak
- 1 tablespoon olive oil
- 1 cup cherry tomatoes, halved
- 1/4 cup crumbled blue cheese
- 1/4 pound baby arugula
- 1/4 cup red onion, chopped (optional0
- Make sure flank steak is at room temp, then pat dry and generously sprinkle kosher salt and fresh ground pepper.
- Heat grill or grill pan over medium high heat. oil grill, then add steak, turning once,4 to 6 minutes total for medium-rare.
- Meanwhile, whisk first 5 ingredients.
- Remove steak from grill pan and let rest for a few minutes (don’t slice!)
- Arrange arugula on a large platter. Thinly slice steak on the diagonal, across the grain. Arrange over arugula, then toss cherry tomatoes, red onion and blue cheese on top.