the gym. besides the airport it’s best place to people watch.
dear man on the mat doing weird humping exercise movements, you’re doing things that just can’t be unseen. like the first time i met my friends boyfriend and he was wearing crocs and later that weekend she asked me what i thought about him and all i saw. was.crocs.
i promise that every person in here would rather you not have that muscle then you perform that exercise one more time.
so please stop. walk away from the crocs version of exercise movements and over to the bicep curler thing and we’ll all be just fine.
can we just about gym etiquette for a moment?
like hi girl who’s texting and “j-alking,” yeah – totally fine staring you down until you decide to just go meet them over at homeslice and order one of those bloodies with a pizza on the straw. and don’t worry, you can tell the you went and “worked out” and i won’t tell. just get of the friggin treadmill.
the moaning. i get it, you’re trying really hard but you’re not raphael nadal, so enough.
the girls with bootie shorts and sports bra-ishness on. i’m totally guilty of this outside on a hot july day but we’re in a temperature controlled room with free flowing water and those special towels that are stored in a fridge, it’s overkill.. which by the way – what’s on those things and what are you really supposed to do with them?
or that guy who runs like a freaking tyrannosaurus rex (sidenote: pretty glad dinosaurs are no longer in existence, their names are really hard to spell) on the treadmill next to me so that my treadmill shakes. and then his hair’s just long enough that if he turns his hair just right, i get sprinkled with his sweat. delicious, just what i always wanted.
the guy who hits on you at the gym. i can’t. i just. i mean, really? can’t you just narrow your radius and find me on tinder and we can do this the normal way?
my favorite part of the gym is the guys in yoga class. they just look like deer trying to walk. brings the namaste into my day.
the gym is healthy. and soooo are brussels sprouts. i knowwwww. i always think about popeye the sailor man when i think of brussel sprouts but apparently that was actually spinach because i just googled it so yea, doesn’t really apply here at all.
i didn’t think i liked brussels sprouts but then my coworker brought them in and they were good. real good. i promise.
so here they are. give them a try. they’re super simple.
they do good things for your body. i googled it so it must be true. and then you can be like t-rex man at the gym.
- 1 lb brussels sprouts
- 1 tsp kosher salt
- 1 tbl olive oil
- 1 tsp fresh ground pepper
- 1/2 tsp crushed garlic (in the jar)
- pull off any outer yellow leaves.
- throw everything into the bowl and stir.
- pop into the oven at 400 degrees for 30 minutes.