Red Velvet White Chocolate Chip Cookies

I haven’t done one of these in a while. DSC_1691

but it was so fun that one time. that’s always how a really bad idea starts. that’s how i ended up hiding in a friends neighbors garage in high school. (another story. another time).

i mean you guys.  the tears. the hyperventilating. the nudity. that lipstick.

the two night bachelor special was truly life changing.

things i’ve learned:

1. just say no to playboy. i get it. you’re trying to make it big. you’re a “yes woman” plowing your way through the toughest town to break into.

wait. i changed my mind. just say no to playboy if you ever are going to be on national television.

in other news, her google hits for those photos totally skyrocketed last night. kudos.

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2. there is a time and a place for magenta lipstick. there’s just not an all the time time and place for magenta lipstick.

3. it is totally acceptable to not tell a guy he can marry your sister if he’s also sleeping with 3 other people.

4. becca reminds me of lucy from 7th heaven. and it doesn’t have anything to do with her being a virgin.

just make sure you do something in life that gives you a little grit. she just needs to go streaking. or crowd surfing. anything to grab onto. although, she did hold hands with a boy for the first time in front of her mom, so there’s that.

oh also. if my mom and sister threw me under the bus in that – becca has only given one armmed side hugs to men  duggar style, they would be in a hot air balloon to timbuktu.

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5. i actually liked carly. i think it was because of their first date. i just have to love a girl who can survive going to a sex guru on a first date without just breaking down in the ashley s. crazy eyes way.

although, girlfriend. that blue dress. maybe just buy the next size up next time. keep your britney to your carly.

6. britt britt britt. all the girls feel about her the way that jan felt about marcia. she was the obvious frontrunner. i bet she won homecoming queen in high school. she totally did, right?

how the mighty have fallen.

here’s how to not get a rose. throw a temper tantrum in front of your pseudo boyfriend because he didn’t pick you first to be on his dodgeball team. don’t pout on the bench. britt wanted to go to that rose ceremony and prove she was still homecoming queen.

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then there wasn’t even a cocktail party. and you’re done, son. you’re so done. and the sad thing is, you can tell she didn’t see it coming. the girl who sleeps in more make-up than a drag queen in boys town was blindsided. deuces.

spoiler alert: jade gets sent home. but it totally, obviously, wasn’t because of her nude photo shoot. it definitely wasn’t that.

so it was valentine’s day. and the way i show love is through cooking. but apparently it would be weird to hand out flank steaks as valentines so i baked.

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this is not my recipe. i won’t cheat you like that. i won’t pull a britt.

also. you know how i don’t have a sweet tooth? i have eaten at least 17 of these today. so i’ll be on a long date with the treadmill tonight.

recipe here, from sally’s baking addiction.

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