I’ve been sitting here, trying to figure out what to say. I’ve been away for the last couple of months, I know. My heart just hasn’t been here – it hasn’t been in a place where I feel like I’ve been a good enough me, the best me. The sassy me that started this little place.
A friend of mine, not someone who knows the minutia of the situation but who knows me well enough, I think said it best, “you’re still you but it seems like you’re a little off. Like you lost your zest.”
Now is the time when I would usually tell you all about it like a taylor swift song. all the details would come pouring out carrie bradshaw style. And while part of me wants to, I can’t. and if you’ve been a reader for long enough, you know that says enough right there – it’s so stitched into my heart, it runs too deep, that I just can’t. but I have to acknowledge my absence and tell you I’m sorry, that I’m working my way back.
It’s funny how life can surprise you in one way and it can make you question so many other things. You could swear that the world is now turning backwards and maybe everything you once knew you don’t anymore. Like if I was wrong about this one thing, this thing that I was so sure about –then what else am I wrong about? With what other things and people and in what other ways am I steering in the wrong direction?
Reflection is exhausting. She’s a real b, if you ask me. I prefer my old pal feisty and her sister brave. even their annoying aunt happy. Those are some cool broads.
It’s gonna be okay. Even great. I’m going to believe that my future self is shaking her head at me right now, because I can’t even imagine all of the beauty that is coming my way. The universe just needs a little longer to bake it, that’s all, it’s not quite ready yet, but she’s cooking up the perfect recipe for me.
And for you too. In case you need to hear that today, it’s coming for you too. All of it. With whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles and a cherry on top. And the zest, all of the zest.
In case you’ve found yourself in a bit of a hole, a place where you feel a little alone and a bit sad, you’re not alone. I promise you this, you’re not alone. If I’ve learned anything the people who pull you out of those places are great but it’s the one who crawl inside of it with you and sit with you and take your hands in theirs and tell you over and over again that you’re loved, that you’re amazing, that it’s all going to be okay – until you start to believe it – they’re the unicorns and the brass rings. They’re the keepers.
I’m gonna get my zest back and I think coming back to this place that I’ve always cherished so much might be just the ticket.
more coming soon…